August's Infatuations by Elle Issue is out midnight tonight.
Here's a sneak-preview of the cover:
It's only been a little over a week with him 'officially' and already I can see major flaws in myself. No one's perfect but I have always tried to perfect myself. And I thought I had done a pretty good job in doing so, but now I realise there's all these hidden flaws that I never realised about myself, because I've never had a boyfriend.
My most major flaw? Failure to show love. Because I'm so scared. He tried to hold my hand at uni yesterday and I completely freaked out. I told him maybe not at uni. But a little while later I realised I really did want to hold his hand, that he just simple took me by surprise. But he's amazing and he understood that it made me uncomfortable and didn't force/push me. Not sure if he really is so perfect or it's the 'honeymoon stage' that makes him so caring and considerate. But I'm not going to complain.
He is absolutely amazing to me. And I love him because he loves me flaws and all.
My own mother thinks I'd be a perfect girlfriend/wife, telling my older brother if he ever met a girl like me, never to let me go but to take up the opportunities and pursue her. But the thing is, me as a friend, me as a sister, me as a daughter even, is completely different from me as a girlfriend/wife. My older brother would never be able to handle and overly-insecure girl like me. Seriously, every day I am discovering more things about myself. Every day I am learning and growing.
I've discovered new flaws and now I'm trying to perfect myself again. I'm trying to overcome my insecurities. I think I've done a pretty good job not getting jealous, learning to trust him and all. But I still think I can further improve in that area. The only reason I don't get overly jealous is because of him, he gives me confidence, he makes me trust him. But I need more from myself. I need to learn to not be jealous even when he isn't there to constantly reassure me.
I'll get there someday. The first step is always to know your flaw.
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