He told me not to tell anyone except my closest friend/s what happened, but here I am posting it for the world to read. But this is my blog where I record special things, good and bad. And this is the most special thing that has ever happened to me.
So let's start from two nights ago. I had been waiting for him to take me out ever since I told him I was willing to give us a go. I had waited for 2 weeks, I wouldn't have been expecting anything but for him telling me about how I probably am expecting something. So yes, because of that I was expecting something. So 2 weeks of just calls and texts, I got a little impatient at times, my heart wanting him, but then my brain was telling me that there's no rush, that taking things slow is good for me, otherwise I'd get scared and run. But two nights ago, a frenzy of boys, okay, just 3, but 3 is a big number, started talking to me over Facebook. One even tried to ask me out on a date but coincidentally and thankfully I was busy on the date he offered. But these 3 boys were interested, I wasn't stupid or being self-absorbent, sometimes I just act stupid so I don't have to deal with it all. But I am never the type to lead someone on, that's just cruel and heartless. Yet I didn't know what to tell them because we apparently weren't 'official' yet.
So I caved in and told my now-boyfriend how he better make us official soon because all these boys are asking me out on dates. He kinda flipped, I guess I shouldn't have told him that over Facebook, so yes, I am genuinely stupid sometimes, "when it comes to relationships I don't have a clue (Click Clack Away - Diggy ft Bruno Mars)". But he wasn't angry at my stupidity, we talked over the phone and he ended up spoiling a bit of the surprise, he was going to spontaneously rock up at my front door and 'kidnap' me the next night, that was last night. Kind of disappointed I spoiled it a bit, yet glad I did because I'm the opposite to him when it comes to things like this, I'm a planner, he's spontaneous. Opposites attract. What would I say to my mum if he randomly rocked up at my front door? "Sorry Mum, I need to run off with a boy for the night." So I'm glad I expected it. But the surprise wasn't ruined, I had no idea where he was taking me and what he was going to do.
I was dressed and ready, I had gone out so didn't need to change, but at the last moment he texts me telling me to wear my worst clothes, a fashion disaster. My curiosity ran wild but I did as he told. Wearing boyfriend jeans with converse shoes and some ugly brown jacket studded with pearls and a pink jumper underneath. Sounds horrible already. So he called me when he arrived, me not knowing what exact time he was going to come. I walked out and gave him such a violent hug that I think we headbutted. That hug, I waited for so long. Something I didn't really think too much about until last night when I lay in bed, he opened the door for me to the car and closed it. I never expected such things, I thought they only exist in movies, that it's just clique stuff that I didn't need. And I don't need it, I don't demand it, but it was so nice to know he put in these small things to make me feel so special.
And not much effort was needed to sweep me off my feet. Everything was my first time, it was incomparable but he put in so much effort it was wonderful. He was wonderful. He is wonderful. So he explained in the car why I was dressed like I was, his intentions was to tell me that no matter what I wear, he thinks I'm beautiful. That was so sweet and creative. Amazing. He drove me down to the river overlooking the city, with the city lights reflecting off the water and the full moon glowing above us. Though cold, being winter, it was the perfect night. I got out the car and found out that his friend's car was there, his friends were there. That slightly worried me but I didn't let it show because I was willing to go with the flow. He blinded folded me with a scarf, took my hand and led me towards the water. He stopped for a moment and told a buy to play a love song on the guitar, I didn't know who it was but turns out to be one of his friends. He continued to lead me towards the water. As we got to the edge, he told me I could look. I took off the scarf and there was the beautiful city view.
The funny part was things didn't work out, he was suppose to give me sparklers but it was so windy they wouldn't light up. His friends were on a bench behind us trying to light them up. I was laughing so hard it was amazing. Apparently there was suppose to be 3, but they only got two to work. He gave me one and told me to put it in the water, so we both stuck it in the sand so it sparkled above the water. He then told me to make a wish and I did. I wished that we could stay together forever. He asked me what I wished for, I told him and he said I wasn't suppose to wish for something about him. That made me smile, what else was I suppose to think about, when everything about me in that moment was about him. When I finished my wish, both sparklers had already finished. He was suppose to make his wish when it was still sparkling and tell me what it was. Oh, how funny that was. As he waited for his two friends to get another sparkler happening, he decided to just go with it. So he told me to pretend it was still sparkling and then told me what his wish was, that I would be his girlfriend. And then he asked me the question and I told him yes. I hugged him afterwards, I was still scared but so happy at the same time, never once stopped laughing. I asked him if I could hug him. I asked, because I was clueless and scared but I wanted him.
Then he took my hand and we strolled on the footpath, along the city view, talking and laughing. And oh my god, the feeling that comes from holding the hand of someone you love. I just don't want to let go. But he then stopped at one point, letting go of my hand to run towards the water and yelled across the river to the city: "Woooh, She f*cken said yes!!" He's one crazy guy and that's what makes me love him so much. Me, the quiet reserved type in public, and him, the crazy spontaneous type in public. He then stopped for a while in the playground and played on a weird swing that could 'swing' or 'spin'. We got so dizzy and sick, probably wasn't a good idea but I wouldn't change a thing. Not a single thing.
When we got back to his car, he gave me a flower, turns out it was fake, because he wanted to say that his love for me will never die like this flower. Cheesy but I loved it. He laughed about it, knowing how cheesy it was, but he still said it, he still did it. His friends were there are they congratulated me like he just popped 'the question', it was 'a question' but not 'the question'. I felt like I was engaged or something, the way they congratulated me, and the way I was beaming with happiness. I found it strange but it was sweet. Throughout the night he told me so many things that made me fall for him more and more. He reminded me about his exponential graph analogy, how he wanted out relationship to happen exponentially. And then he told me that over the past week, he had fallen even more deeply in love with me. It was hard to believe because all we did was talk over the phone and text. I told him how amazingly strange he is that he could stay away from me for 2 weeks. That usually when a guy finds out a girl he likes, is willing to accept him, he would want to hold her hand immediately and kiss her and just be physically together. He took it slow and I appreciated it, I needed it. Because I was different.
He told me how he loved my personality, how wonderful and amazing I was. How crazy I am. Hearing someone describe you is so nice because I really don't know what my personality is. I didn't know what he liked about me at all. He said there was too many things about my personality that he liked. Towards the end of the night, I took his piece of paper which was scribbled with notes for his 'speech' that he didn't use because he left it in the car. The sweetest things were written on it, and I kept it with me. "Your first, hope it's your last" "I love you" "You're amazing" "I don't care what problems you have or if you have any problems at all" "Boyfriend is just a derogative term, I want to be your soul mate, love you forever." "Important to me" "Would like to get to know you more than ever. Getting to know you is he best feeling ever."
He knew everything was my first, especially the kiss. And before I went back in the house, we had a hug. He asked me if I wanted my first kiss. I was silent. And he asked "Or do you want it another day." I told him "Maybe another day because I'm still scared." I really want to take everything slow. He said OK but kissed me on my forehead instead. I gave him a jar of paper stars I made labeled Jar of Hopes and a letter saying the following:
Hope that there are many wonderful, magical moments that await us in the future.
Hope for things to work out when times get tough for us.
Hope that everything's worth it.
As long as we never stop hoping to be with each other, there is nothing stopping us from saying with each other.
I was walking back before he called me back, wanting one more hug. I ran back over and told him I could at least kiss him on the cheek so I did and then with one last hug for that night, I walked up the driveway to my house. Turning back to see him yell out: "Woooh". Oh lord, that amazing crazy child.
He replied to my letter really late that night through text messages:
I hope for a long living and long lasted friendship
Getting to know you is the best part of everything
And the best part of relationships
I hope to be honest with you. Because that is what makes us great.
applesttar (My own work) ~
I remember how he told me to trust him. And it's harder for me than any normal girl. With all the girls that hang around him, and his thing with complimenting girls to boost their self-esteem as a good friend. But he made me feel really special tonight. And though it's going to be difficult. I am learning to trust him. What's a relationship without trust.
Yoseob is so cute and hot at the same time in this MV. His voice is amazing! I didn't use to think he was good-looking AT ALL. But looks grow on you. I never thought my boyfriend was good-looking but that's the thing about appearances, personality makes appearances change. They glow from within. And my boyfriend is better looking than a lot of guys out there, he's not bad. And with his amazing personality, he's really attractive to me. He really is one of a kind, no one could make me feel as safe as he does. Most guys fail to, or even completely try to avoid to, talk about the future. But he has no problem, he wants me forever. That is rare. Love really makes someone glow. It's scary falling in love but he makes it feel so safe. I hope to get to know him more and more day by day, and love him more and more day by day.
But staying rational. I won't let love dim my dreams and ambitions. I'm still going to focus on my grades and achievements. What a relationship is, is two people sharing their life together, not one life dominating the other. I'm never going to stop constantly improving myself, no matter how much he says he loves exactly how I am and tells me not to change. If change is for the better then change is good. We are both young, still growing, and constantly changing. As long as we continue to be honest with each other, nothing will stop us being wonderful together.
My favourite song, song of my life: Mine - Taylor Swift
You were in college working part time waiting tables
Left a small town, never looked back
I was a flight risk with a fear of fallin’
Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts
I say "Can you believe it?
As we’re lying on the couch?"
The moment I can see it.
Yes, yes, I can see it now.
Do you remember, we were sitting there by the water?
You put your arm around me for the first time.
You made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter.
You are the best thing that’s ever been mine.
Flash forward and we’re taking on the world together,
And there’s a drawer of my things at your place.
You learn my secrets and you figure out why I’m guarded,
You say we’ll never make my parents’ mistakes.
We're a reflection of each other, exactly the same, yet complete opposites. It's magical and beautiful.