DT: Love isn't complicated, people are

DT: Believe when others doubt, win when others lose

And this marks the last one of the week dedicated to Daily Thinkers. A few will pop up, but not as 

intensive as it has been the past week. I hope these have motivated you the whole week.

DT: Getting Even instead of Getting Ahead

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DT: If you don't live in the present, you'll die having never lived.

DT: Tell her (Guys take note)

blueberry by weilano

                

                                                                                    

DT: Can't Bring Me Down

Promising Curves

by OlivierAccart

DT: We are fearless, independent and original

To make up for the lack of Daily Thinkers, I'm going to be posting a lot in the coming week. One every day
 for 7 days. Think and enjoy. Hope it inspires you to work towards a better life.

DT: Every Choice

Haven't done a daily thinker for a while. So here you go.

Please read, and it will motivate you to act.

Why love usually doesn't work out

Your thorns don't hurt

by Vanilladisaster

Here's one big daily thinker life thinker for you,
seriously, please take the time to read and digest this.
Hopefully this will guide you to happiness 
because this is how I found happiness.

I finally understand why my mum always told me to date when I am older, not just because she wants me to focus on my studies first but, most importantly, she doesn't want me to get my heart broken. There's different views out there where people encourage you to experience it so you know how to fix yourself... or know what you want in a guy. But I don't like jumping into the deep end. I like taking things one step at a time, heartbreaks included.

So to address the question of this post: Why love usually doesn't work out... when you're still a teenager. Let me throw another question into the air: How do you learn to love someone when you don't even know how to love yourself? The most important person in your life should be yourself, selfish as that sounds, it's actually not that selfish at all. Without yourself, what is there? Nothing. You gotta give yourself a lot more credit than most of us do.

Love Yourself

Haven't done any 'Daily Thinkers' for a while so at the end of this
 post I've included three beautiful quotes to get you thinking
 and feeling. Today's post is all about loving yourself. Three beautiful
 quotes to accompany three journal entries I've posted
 in the past few days on my DeviantArt account. 

be

by all17

DT: Beauty of Personality

It just another boring post about how my feelings are going now that I'm in a relationship. It's like a therapy session. This blog was never really here to entertain. It's here for myself really, for me to read back on things, to remember, to learn, and to just write things down in hopes of clearing my head and my emotions. So far, it's done pretty damn well I must say. Helped me through a lot.

So here goes, let me ramble away...

On a daily basis, he doesn't put much effort in looking good. So he doesn't come off as attractive. But when he does put in effort, he's quite a catch. The main aspect of his physical appearance that attracted me was his height, and nothing takes that away. However, all that doesn't matter to me. I don't like him for his looks, he doesn't come off as attractive. It's his amazing personality.

Blessing

by ~Plakitina

It's so rare! He is so kind and thoughtful to EVERYONE around him. He's so playful and wild, I could never get bored of him. I'm sure I will cringe in the future when he does things like that but I will never unlove him for it because that's what makes him so special. He makes strangers happy. How he was repetitively hitting his friend on the head with a scrolled up poster as we were going down an escalator today, and the old lady on the other side, going up, laughed out loud as she saw him. I absolutely love how he brings joy to everyone's life. That's something that appearances can't do. Appearances come and go, we all age and turn ugly and wrinkly, but what remains is the beauty of our personalities.

He is such a romantic as well. Went on our first date officially as a couple today with a bunch of his friends and he gave me an envelope from under the table. Got home and opened it, turns out he plans to give me one of these essay/poems every time we meet. I used to think romance was overrated, like it was really fake, just a way to get something from a girl, like there were intentions, that he wanted something back. Imitation love, as I have learnt from my previous post. But this is real. He is just a genuinely warm-hearted boy. I still don't like how experiences have changed me into a pessimistic lover, because after being all warm and fuzzy reading the letter, this horrible thought came into my mind, I hoped that I would never have to burn these letters. Because I don't think I could ever let him go.

DT: 12 Things I Like About Him

I've made a decision and I'm not sure if it's good or bad, time will tell which one it is. But either way, it's one decision I want to keep, no matter what. One that I will never regret.

The reasons why I accepted him.

1. He is a family person to a good extent, and I am a huge family person so there's understanding there.

2. He is honest, even with things that make him look bad and puts him at a disadvantage. And with my insecurity issues, that's exactly what I need.

3. He is spontaneous and crazy which makes him quite funny, I need that in my overly structured and planned life. 

4. He is more emotional than general guys, making it easier for him to understand my emotional issues. 

5. He is hard working and can endure pain (from what I see in his journey of weight-loss) which are great characteristics for ambitious people (not yet sure what his ambitions are but I admire ambitious people). He may not be studying to be lawyer, doctor or engineer or anything prestigious but he has the traits to get him the same prestige as longs as he wants it. 

DT: Real women fall for love and loyalty

That's what I'm falling for, he doesn't really have the looks, nor the money. But he seems like the loyal kind. 'Seems' because I will never truly know until I go there. Question is... should I go there?

I still don't really know what he likes about me personality-wise. He said that it was hard for a girl to like basketball, ok, so that's one reason. Another was that I am blunt and that is hard to come by, so yes, another reason. I think the main reason is that he feels he can trust me? Because I can be so blunt and never led him on?

Decision, decision, decision... do I say yes? At this very moment in time, I am thinking of saying yes. But I will have to keep in mind that I should hope for the best out of this, but expect the worst out of this too. The worst? We never talk ever again, I lose him. I cry my eyes out. I lose myself. Wow, that is pretty bad. Am I willing to risk this happening to myself? Do I trust him enough right now that he won't let this happen to me no matter what?

We don't need to rush

a deriva: welcome, ghosts

by =gokturkayan

Being single seems really hard these days because everyone around me is getting a boyfriend. And although that kinda , just a little bit, makes me feel a tad lonely, I don't want that to affect my thinking and the way I act. I don't want to rush into anything just because I feel semi-lonely.

This is what I think: We are going to be with someone for most of our life (find someone be in a long term relationship, get married and stay together forever), so why not enjoy our small limited time of being single and do things that only single people can do?

There is indeed a BIG difference. Many young people don't see this difference at all. But I do, and I will not be jumping into anything no matter how lonely I can feel at times. 

And I think that's how he's feeling right now. All this time I've kept my distance after he found out I still liked him and I found out he no longer felt the same. But recently he reached out to me again, wanting to see me, saying it feels like an eternity. It's not me he wants, it's a girl he wants. Right now I'm the closest thing he can 'get'. He's lonely and I'm not going to be weak and give it to him. Another girl in my situation might.

She likes him, he likes her. Why complicate things? But the thing is, he's liking her for the wrong reason. The only reason I'm an overthinker is because I see it through to the end, and I can see myself getting hurt. I want to save myself from unnecessary experiences, unnecessary heartbreaks. It'll be foolish to go into something even when you know it's wrong. 

I will be patient and wait. I won't rush into anything stupid. It's not worth the heartbreak in the end to just rush into something with just anyone. I want to be certain he's the one I want to share myself with before I actually do share myself with him. Most importantly I want to be certain I am happy with myself before I do. 

So that's my goal from now to who knows when. To create stability in myself before I share it with someone.  I want to know who I am exactly, or at least who I want to become, before someone comes into my life otherwise he might just end up determining who I end up being. I want the power in my own hands, I want to determine who I become. Not him. Once I know exactly who I am or who I want to be then I can find someone who will truly like me for me, or someone who will help me become the person I want to be.  

It takes strength to be a good person [+ lots of daily thinkers]

Kim XV

by ~Pawssou

Lately I'm so sick and tired of everything for some reason. Maybe because exams are coming and I feel tied down? I don't know. I don't really think that's it though.

I just feel like I'm a darker person for some reason. Things have happened to me but I don't want that to shape me into a worse person. Just because they are like that doesn't mean I have to be too. To say it's a form of survival, I guess it's just an excuse? It's the easy way out of things to say it's just for survival. An eye for an eye. Revenge? To be good to a person even when they are a bad person, that's where the true strength comes in, not the ability to do even badder things to them.

I want to be a good person, I really do.

That's why I just want to play dumb these days. Dumb people are good people. They're too dumb to be evil. Being evil requires a lot of thinking. I want to be an innocent little girl I used to be a few years back. They can play me all they want, but I'll just be too stupid to know they're playing me. All their horrid intentions will go straight through me. Oh how ignorance is bliss.

I also feel like I am constantly seeking approval with everything I do, with everything I am. All my life I have been subconsciously doing this. I feel like I'm seeking attention and acceptance. It's not a healthy thing to be doing. I know I should just be me, whoever that is, and ignore everything that happens around me. But knowing is different from doing/being. I just want to sink into wherever I am right now, bury myself away, and block everything out.

I'm so sick and tired of it all. So that's it. I'm just going to play dumb now.

DT: Bitter sadness makes happiness sweeter

 Here are just some designs I made a while ago, maybe a few months? Time flies. 

If you read the words written above the designs, those are the titles of the songs by Leona Lewis that inspired these pieces.

More recent sketches when I was bored a few weeks ago.

Anyway, onto what I wanted this post to be about.

DT: Avoid Over Thinking

Funny that the daily thinker today is one that tells you not to think.

Hmmm, something ironic about that.

Anyway. I've chosen to share this DT today because lately I realised something new. I mean I always knew I overthink but I never truly saw it as a bad thing, as a problem. It's my way or surviving, of preventing myself from getting hurt. But it's only a good thing to overthink when what you think is correct, not when you're thinking the wrong thing. Like assuming the wrong things. I read too much into everything, thinking that everything I read is the truth when it's just my interpretation of something. The thought finally came into my mind that some things that I assume to be the truth may be wrong. Maybe I have been reading too much into something that it's no longer protecting me but hurting me. 

There needs to be a balance. 

A balance between how much and how far you should read into something. 

Try not to cross the line and end up hurting yourself and those around you. 

DT: someday we will find what we are looking for

Someday we will find what we are looking for, but that day isn't today. I realised he's not the one, no more doubt, I'm sure about this. Now I'm faced with the torment of how to break it to him. That I changed my mind about him.

1.Do I just ignore all his messages? 

Do I just tell him?

If I just tell him, what exactly do I tell him?

2.That I simply changed my mind? 

3.That he's not my type?

4.Or that I really don't think it's time and I really want to just stay friends?

It's very fragile, breaking it to someone who still likes you.

So I've been thinking about this a lot! Like a lot! I've been avoiding it a lot, thinking that ignoring his messages he will slowly expect my 'rejection' to come. Remembering from my previous post, I did say it hurts the most when you don't expect it. So I've given him the silent treatment for half of the week already, all weekend. It's time to really think about how I should execute this. And I think the way to choose the best method is to put myself in his shoes, if I liked a guy and he no longer liked me. Ok. Let's do this.

So the first time I meet this guy I already have feelings for him, nothing strong but it starts.

He adds me on FB and I'm very happy about it. 

I start chatting with him on FB, flirting with him.

When I meet him I get really shy though so I don't talk to him, or even look at him (especially not in the eyes).

I flirt with him a lot, and it's been going on for quite some time now, probably hoping to get some kind of signs that he's interested. 

So one night he spills everything, and opens up to me about everything asking me whether I like him as more than a friend.

Scared, I dodge the questions and make excuses but eventually I decide to ask him the question back.

He says he used to like me and still kinda does. I am overjoyed and relieved!

So then I become very blunt too and I repeat exactly what he said, that I also used to like him and still kinda do as well.

I ask him he if he wants a relationship.

He replies saying he doesn't think he can handle a relationship in this point in time in his life.

So I settle it and say let's just remain friends and get to know each other better first.

He completely agrees and tells me to tell him if I change my mind about him.

I said I would and told him to do the same if he changes his mind too, adding that it would be completely fine.

So then I start texting him the next night (I never text him, just FB messages so this is something new) and I make him get snapchat, and I start snapchatting him nonstop all night and the next night.

He snapchats back and everything is so nice and lovely.

But then he stops snapchatting back on the third night. 

I snapchat a message saying 'Missing You' and I get no reply.

I upload a photo of me and my close friends who know about 'him and I' on FB saying 'This one's for you' but he doesn't comment on the photo, like it, or even mention it at all.

So I stop snapchatting him over the weekend, probably assuming that he must just be really busy with study as exams are approaching.

I snapchat him tonight.

Now... what do I expect from him??

znikam.

by ~agnsun

Ok, that's pretty much everything that has happened from his perspective.   

Time to delve into the future from his perspective:

1. Do I just ignore all his messages?

So he ignores my messages, all of them. So I give up and stop messaging him thinking what on earth has happened. Could he possibly be this busy studying for exams that he couldn't take the time to send just one reply. I get all confused, annoyed and irritated. I'm not liking what's going on. But I don't confront him about it. I just sit here guessing. I don't like what he's doing to me.

DT: Same Love

Here's a really good daily thinker. To not think about ourselves, but think about our society as a whole.

Multi-think & DT

I'm such a hypocrite. I say one thing but I do another. That's because I try to think one way, to change the way my heart feels, and hopefully change the way I act. But deep down my heart is still strong and nomatter how many lies I tell myself, I can't change the way my heart feels.

But my head still kicks in and controls situations rationally. That I am glad for.

I was really angry at myself today. I thought it was a good day, started off really well. Then I realised I didn't attend a lecture which had an assessment worth 10%! I completely flipped! It's because so much happened last night. I finally confronted the confused boy because we were talking on facebook and the conversation led to a point where he said he wanted to attract girls like me, he even said it in capital letters. I completely flipped and had enough of being confused with all his flirty words that I was really blunt and almost 'violent' on him. But things worked out in the end. I found out he liked me, after he turned the question back on me when I asked him, I said I did like him and still kinda do and he replied with the same words. Then he wanted to know what I wanted, which I had no idea. And so he asks me if I want a relationship. Very blunt our conversation was. So I started trembling and kind of hyperventilating because I was so scared of a relationship. Yes, me, flight-risk. I think I may have developed a new phobia, not just of planes but of commitment. But I was honest with him and told him I don't think I could handle a relationship in this moment in time and he was really understanding. We both agreed to get to know each other better first which I am so glad to hear. I even told him to let me know when he changes his mind about me. Everything was so open.

So yes, a lot happened last night. All the while, during a separate facebook conversation with a new friend I made who wanted to have lunch with me and show me his new camera. I had a feeling there was more than a two new friends having lunch kind of thing. I said yes first, before my conversation with 'confused boy' got too far and I found out he liked me. But after I found out, I realised it wasn't such a good idea to continue with the plans. I was going to cancel it, but then I really value out possible friendship, we have so much interest in the field of photography. So I told he I have a friend who really wants to see me that day and whether she could join us. He said yes. So everything seems fine from there. But today he messages me saying that something came up and he wants to raincheck on our lunch meet-up, which means I do not know how to pull my friend into our next possible lunch 'date' since I said I haven't seen her in a while and she was really keen to see me again.

But yes, A LOT happened last night. And I was so glad my close friend was on the phone to help me during the situation of both of them.

But the main thing I really wanted to express here is that I really can't multi-think (my word opposed to multi-task). I'm so glad my head kicked in during last night's situation otherwise right now would probably be 10x worse then what it is now. I could have said yes to the relationship, and I even saw him today, then it would be so weird and all I could think would be him.

What happened today was that I missed an important assessment. If I had said yes to a relationship, I would be blaming it so hard that I would probably jump back out of it (like Mouse from Carrier Diaries, read the end of this post to know what I'm talking about here). After finding out how stupid I was for missing the 10% assessment, I tried talking to the unit coordinator but with no hope. Even after that I was determined to persuade her through an email to give me an alternative assessment, anything than a zero. But after sitting down, having dinner and relaxing, I could think rationally again. There's no use wasting time on something I, deep down, know I am incapable of changing (since I have tried persuading this same unit coordinator last year to let me study the subject in 2nd semester). So instead of delving on something I can't change, why not work towards something I can. And that's preparing for the next few assessments and acing them so that I maintain a HD. It's not a hard unit but I use to worry, and still kinda am, about being kicked out of the unit if I did too well. But I have an excuse now. I missed an assessment so I am putting more effort in to do well which I hope will pay off. They have no reason to kick me out if I really put in a lot of effort.