Saturday 29 June 2013

We don't need to rush

a deriva: welcome, ghosts by gokturkayan

by =gokturkayan


Being single seems really hard these days because everyone around me is getting a boyfriend. And although that kinda , just a little bit, makes me feel a tad lonely, I don't want that to affect my thinking and the way I act. I don't want to rush into anything just because I feel semi-lonely.

This is what I think: We are going to be with someone for most of our life (find someone be in a long term relationship, get married and stay together forever), so why not enjoy our small limited time of being single and do things that only single people can do?


There is indeed a BIG difference. Many young people don't see this difference at all. But I do, and I will not be jumping into anything no matter how lonely I can feel at times. 

And I think that's how he's feeling right now. All this time I've kept my distance after he found out I still liked him and I found out he no longer felt the same. But recently he reached out to me again, wanting to see me, saying it feels like an eternity. It's not me he wants, it's a girl he wants. Right now I'm the closest thing he can 'get'. He's lonely and I'm not going to be weak and give it to him. Another girl in my situation might.

She likes him, he likes her. Why complicate things? But the thing is, he's liking her for the wrong reason. The only reason I'm an overthinker is because I see it through to the end, and I can see myself getting hurt. I want to save myself from unnecessary experiences, unnecessary heartbreaks. It'll be foolish to go into something even when you know it's wrong. 


I will be patient and wait. I won't rush into anything stupid. It's not worth the heartbreak in the end to just rush into something with just anyone. I want to be certain he's the one I want to share myself with before I actually do share myself with him. Most importantly I want to be certain I am happy with myself before I do. 


So that's my goal from now to who knows when. To create stability in myself before I share it with someone.  I want to know who I am exactly, or at least who I want to become, before someone comes into my life otherwise he might just end up determining who I end up being. I want the power in my own hands, I want to determine who I become. Not him. Once I know exactly who I am or who I want to be then I can find someone who will truly like me for me, or someone who will help me become the person I want to be.  

The thing is, in my situation, when a decent boy comes up to you and starts showing he cares, it's so so hard not to give in. No boy has ever told me he liked me until he came along. No one. No boy has ever been so kind and caring. And it's tough, but I see through it, I see that it's not me he really wants, it's just my attention. Selfish, it is. But boys will be boys. And girls cannot just be girls and be messed around with. Any boy can show he cares if he likes you. For me he was the first one to ever show me so I have to, even now, constantly tell myself that there's better out there. He was never my type but once he showed he cared, everything went out the window for a while. But it's all good, I'm back on my feet and I've got my head on straight now. Not to degrade him or anything, but he's a boy, he's not ready for a relationship, not the kind I want.

SUMMER EVENING BREEZES by sandrawiklander

by ~swiklander


Once a boy shows he cares, the girl jumps right in, not thinking. A lovely experience to begin with, but it ends with heartbreaks when he's done with her. Once he's got her, achieved her like a prize, he will shove it aside and aim for what he believes is better. No longer caring. Boys don't mean to do it, so I don't hate them for it. It's not like they are evil and purposely set out to break a girl's heart. He honestly did like her in the beginning, but they don't think so it's up to the girl to think, to protect her own heart. A boy's heart is harder to break because they are naturally less emotional creatures.

So with this boy who's now coming back, I don't want to use the word 'crawling back' to make him sound desperate because I guess he's not that bad, he's just lonely and not thinking properly. He acts like he cares about me when all he truly cares about is himself and getting the attention he wants. I'm not going to let him break my heart just so he can become satisfied. "You chose the wrong girl to get what you want".

by ~nostalgiaplatz


You are so good at making yourself appear like you care a lot, but I've noticed you don't actually care that much, not enough to pay attention to the smaller details. That's proof that you don't actually care as much as you make yourself out to be. I don't blame a guy for not paying attention to small details, I'm not that kind of girl that expects a guy to be like her, like a girl. I have two brothers, I understand exactly how they are. But you make yourself appear like a guy who would pay attention to smaller details, yet you don't. It's deceit. I fell for it once, the way you present yourself to me, your way with words are amazing. You have a skill, you really do. But once I found out you no longer liked me, the way you could just move on within 2 weeks after all the effort you put in to get me, I can say I am so glad you are the one that got away and so glad I didn't say yes when you asked me if I wanted a relationship with you. I dodged a bullet with you. I don't regret a single decision I made between you and I.

by *michellis13


That's exactly what happened with your first relationship. You rushed into it because she liked you and you were probably feeling lonely. After a few months you let her go, you dropped her. I've never actually heard stories about you and her because I hadn't met you yet, but she was probably heartbroken that you changed your mind so easily. Feeling lonely should not be the reason why you're with them, it will never work out in that way.

I've experienced the 'other you', the one that was no longer interested in me. And now I can compare the two 'yous'. The one that really wanted me, willing to say all sorts of cheesy things to get me. And the one that was simply kind and less, not completely gone though, flirty. I liked that less flirty guy better, there's less of a motive behind that guy, he's more real. It's strange, only a few days before you reached out to me again, I had a dream about you, how I was seeing you everywhere, and I was constantly hiding from you, trying to run away. From that dream onwards I realised I really wanted you out of my life, I once wanted us to be really close friends thinking even though we didn't work out you'd still be a great friend, but I realised you weren't worth it. My feelings would come back too easily, I'd just be tormenting myself. You bring more troubled feelings than happiness. 

We never started as 'real' friends, you were really flirty from the start, so I cannot see us ever getting to the stage of 'real' friends. Acquaintances, sure. I don't know how to be mean so when you talk to me, I cannot make myself to ignore you. But I really don't want you reaching out to me. I don't mind talking to you when I see you in person, small chitchat, sure, it's all cool. But what are you doing right now? You contact me asking about my holiday, talking about nothing important but latest phones. I don't appreciate the chitchat when it's not necessary. I don't want to talk to you unless I have to. I didn't go to that house party last night because I didn't know many people there, but most importantly I didn't want to see you. I hope you stop reaching out to me. I'm trying to move on, please let me.

by ~jfphotography


This is the perfect song from me to you:
DEMI LOVATO - WITHOUT THE LOVE LYRICS 

You pull my strings, and push my soulYou fool my heart with every noteYou drop a beat, and kiss my faceYou make me move, then cut the base
And you work so hard to get me, just to let me goYeah you put me in the spotlight, just to steal the showAnd you try to take me home like you’re DiMaggio, ohIt’s such a joke
Why are you singing me love songs?What good is a love song, what good is a love song without the love?Why are you singing me love songs?What good is a love song, what good is a love song without the love?Why are we acting like lovers? We don’t know each otherEven though we used to rule the worldWhy are you singing me love songs?What good is a love song, a love song without the love?
I’m so confused, it’s getting oldYou wear your ring, but leave me coldYou’re beautiful, but cause me painYou play my heart like it’s a game
And you work so hard to get me, just to let me goYeah you put me in the spotlight, just to steal the showAnd you try to take me home like you’re DiMaggio, ohIt’s criminal
Why are you singing me love songs?What good is a love song, what good is a love song without the love?Why are you singing me love songs?What good is a love song, what good is a love song without the love?Why are we acting like lovers? We don’t know each otherEven though we used to rule the worldWhy are you singing me love songs?What good is a love song, a love song without the love?Without the love, without the love



post signature

No comments:

Post a Comment