Opportunities... take them

Opportunity is often difficult to recognize; we usually expect it to beckon us with beepers and billboards.  ~William Arthur Ward

Opportunity is a bird that never perches.  ~Claude McDonald

I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.  ~Mark Twain

Seize every opportunity along the way, for how sad it would be if the road you chose became the road not taken.  ~Robert Brault

Opportunities are never lost; someone will take the one you miss.  ~Author Unknown

The follies which a man regrets most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.  ~Helen Rowland

Over time, the hurt doesn't hurt. Only regret does. ~Terri Guillemets

Grasp your opportunities, no matter how poor your health; nothing is worse for your health than boredom. ~Mignon McLaughlin

Because I'm such a flight-risk, such an other-thinker. I think (funny, here I am thinking again) that I just need someone who pulls me towards them. Show me that I don't need to think. Force me to go with my heart. Make me stop timing things.

I planned to be in a relationship when I am 20 but my mother planned it like that too. My dad, the man in her first and last (only) relationship, disrupted her plans and married her. They began dating at 18 and married at 26. Though she didn't appreciate his annoying presence in her perfectly planned life when she was 18, I think that's something I need. 

These days, giving advice to a friend on relationship problems (yes I give better advice to others than I give myself) I realised maybe I just need to stop fearing and go for the fall. My grip on the rope is lessening and I think I'm kind of ready, with hesitance, to take the plunge. I want perfect too unhealthily, but maybe I will never know how perfect someone is for me until I give them that chance to show me. And if it fails, at least we tried and gave it a chance. 

I missed a lot of opportunities back in primary school, spelling bee etc. Those small things, but I do kind of regret not doing it. My friend who was a really bad speller did the spelling bee. And after that event, I told myself to take every opportunity that comes my way. But I never thought of applying this beyond my academic/career aspect of life and into my love life. But it sounds wrong to confine it to just one aspect of life. Taking opportunities as they come should be for everything in life. 

The first time he asked me if I wanted a relationship, I wasn't ready. I think I'm ready to take this opportunity now, if it comes around again. The time between now and the possible second opportunity will be a time where we can truly understand each other as friends. If the second opportunity never comes around, then I guess I missed it and we were never meant to be. An opportunity from somewhere else will come and I will take that instead.  

The thing is, I was the one who confronted him about our feelings for each other. I never planned it to be that way. I wanted to be pursued, I wanted him to show how much he wanted me, how special I am in his eyes. I didn't really feel that way, especially because he was just so incredibly nice to everyone else, I didn't feel it from him.

But if he comes around the second time, be more dominant. I will take him in.   

So here I am, ready to take the next opportunity. Promising myself to think less. And just take the jump. It's time. 

If I walk away from him?? What will I find.