I'm starting to have a huge interest in high fashion and supermodels. And I've noticed all the Asian models have black hair which makes me really want to appreciate my natural colour. I don't want to follow the Korean and Japanese hair trends, I'm now following people like Liu Wen, Su Hei and Shu Pei. It's more sophisticated and classy.
I finally watched Les Miserables, I didn't expect the whole movie to be in 'songs' and so it got a bit tiring listening to the songs to understand the plot but I still loved it! I also didn't expect Anne Hathaway to die so soon in the movie but the movie actually didn't feel that long unlike what my friend thinks (she thought it was SO long). Anyway, the movie made me think of Daily Thinker #10.
I've been thinking about my future a lot these past few days (also been living the moment though, it being Australia Day yesterday with awesome fireworks and beautiful view, also catching up with all my friends which I haven't seen for 2 months). And during Les Miserables, I've realised that I'm really scared to chase my dreams. Scared to lose everything that I already have. If I started from rock bottom, I would have nothing to lose, that's probably why so many famous and successful people used to have nothing at all.
What am I actually scared of losing? My parents from disapproval? Not really, I'm sure they'd understand and even support me because they are the best people ever. I'm more scared of losing my degree and precious time. 2 more years until I get my commerce/finance/business law degree but another 3 more years until I get a law degree. If I just leave now.. well it just doesn't sound right having no degree. My parents have never been to university and they've worked SO hard so that we could have a proper education. I don't want to waste that, it's an opportunity for a wider scope in career choices.
So what if I leave after getting my commerce degree and come back to my law degree when I really want to? Well the thing is that I've already got an assured pathway into it otherwise I would have to work 10x harder these three years. I've worked hard throughout my high school years to get into law, I don't want to throw it away either.
Now last question.... what do I want to chase?
I don't think I actually want to have anything to do with law or finance... I'm doing it because it's good pay, prestigious and gives me more options in choosing my future career since I had no clue about my future when I first left high school... and even now.
Back to that last question, what do I want to chase? I want to do something in fashion, in photography, (and/or) in modelling. That's why I started the blog Infatuations by Elle. I've seen so many bloggers hit it big, I want to be big. I want to be known. It's one life, one life within billions of others. I people to know I exist, I want to influence people.
My plans so far
2013-2014end : Get my commerce degree, at the end of 2014 I will have achieved this and I would have just turned 20.
2015beginning: Participate in the Miss Chinese WA pageant at 20. My friend's girlfriend is actually participating in it this year but she's only 18, I think that's a bit young to be honest.
2015: I would continue with my plans to study law but if I did well in the Miss Chinese WA pageant then hopefully I would be given a lot of other opportunities during the year whilst I study, like larger pageants to enter or... anything that Miss Chinese WA pageant has to offer.
2016-2017end: Get my law degree, I will be 23 which is a really good age to participate in the biggest pageants ever.
2018: I have no idea, I will have graduated from university. I think by then, the past will lead me into my future. law, finance, consulting? Or photography, fashion, modelling?
I'm so ambitious aren't I? And how would my love life fit into this? Well I've wrote a post about this. If you have a career, generally you don't have a love life since you have no time. I will be really blessed if I could have both. And being "a girl who has crushes easily" (how many times have I said this? Well it's true) I'm not sure I can stay away, but whoever's destined for me will come sooner or later. I won't die alone if that's self-reassuring. But another thing, I want to have children whilst I'm in my late 20's... like Miranda Kerr (who wouldn't want to be like her ,right?). Now she... she really is blessed. She has a successful career and a family. Not saying she's completely perfect because I'm sure bad things have happened in her life (relevant to another post I wrote about no one having it all good, or all bad), but she really has a lot of good things that I aim for.
So about my love life? I don't know, what comes will come. You just have to turn them into, or lead into, good events in life.
I remember my post which I stated I don't want to do modelling... but that's because I am completely against going nude. I'm not comfortable being nude and especially not in front of tens of people and a camera. But in a years time, I've realised that maybe you don't have to go nude to be a model? I have not seen a single photo of Liu Wen nude. Actually, I completely take that back.
So it seems if you want to be a high fashion model you have to go nude. So maybe not a high fashion model then? Maybe just a model for my own blog, if it gets big (yes, if, I just have to work hard and if I have talent in it, why could it not?). Why not? A lot of bloggers have hit it big modelling for their own blog. And the thing is, it's so flexible, you have so much freedom, you can do practically anything you want.
I'm really interested in modelling recently.... again. It's because of Liu Wen and... Psy (yes, the Gangnam dude). I've realised that the world is increasingly accepting of Asians in the global industries, whether that be modelling or music. And I love fashion, I'd love to help the Asians advance and be appreciated for different things. I was born in this period for a reason.