Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Not Curious When It Comes To Infidelity

I have recently been hooked into the show: Pretty Little Liars... and have also found some secrets among those around me. Some harmless, some explosively damaging. Everyone has their own secrets, shameful ones most of the time. That's why they're secrets. Because everyone has their shameful moments in life, some far greater than others. 

Secrets may not be theirs to tell so when one secret is passed onto another, it becomes an extra person's responsibility to keep, and it's hard, but there's nothing you can do. It's not yours so you cannot go around telling people, you have that person on your back now. One extra baggage. Just when you only wanted to help, to relieve this person from their secret but realise there's nothing you can do but endure the trauma with them. THAT'S why they don't tell. But you find out anyway, from the words they say, the way they express it. For the first time, despite showing some hypocrisy, ignorance is bliss. 

Infidelity; I've come to realise it's common existence in the Chinese society. Now the question is, if this issue struck your marriage (and I know it's strange that I'm touching such a topic without even having experienced a relationship before, nonetheless marriage, but...)  what you prefer? Never ever finding out? Or find out as soon as possible so you can just divorce the bastard? Weird as it sounds, I would prefer not knowing. As long as he comes home to me every night and understands the responsibility he has with his family. Still give time and thought to me and that is enough, just lie to me and make me think everything is fine.

It sounds like I am a runner from the truth. But knowing is far more damaging. After all, what we seek in life is just happiness and if ignorance leads to bliss in this situation. Then let ignorance be the path I will choose to take. "It hurts far worse than dying". I have no idea why men do it. Men? Yes, most of the time it's the men that ruin the relationship/marriage, it's not sexist, it's a fact. In ancient China men were allowed to have as many wives as they could. It's imprinted in them. Men are scientifically less emotional and hence less emotionally attached to things... to people. In the animal kingdom, the females' sole purpose is to give birth and help the males accomplish their sole purpose: to continue the ancestral line. This ridiculously mirrors the ancient Chinese culture. 

And in  this day and age? When Caucasians get caught up in these things, divorce is such an easy path to go down. But because divorced Chinese women is considered shameful and they care too much about the happiness and wholeness of their family, they prefer to cry it out and hide it. Women are far more superior in the western society in comparison to women in the eastern society. Which makes it far easier for a man from an eastern society to commit misconduct.  Most men look for appearance in a girl (note: MOST, not all), the personality part is just a plus. And I'm not being sexist and making this up. A guy (avoiding the publication of his identity) admitted this himself, sharing his point of view from a guy's side. Unless you're the less masculine type of guy, you're sure to only get attracted to girls with a striking face/body. And women age, beauty never lasts. That striking face/body will wrinkle. And what will many men do? That is, if they've got the status (wealth, prestige...) to still be capable of doing it. Because in this world, despite how much the women have tried to fight for their rights, to be equal. It never will. We are created this way and it's something we cannot deny.

Cinderella is a fantasy that magnifies the reality of women. A man falling in love with a woman based entirely on her looks. And it won't be because of her kindness. No. no, nooooo... It was one night. He wouldn't know her deep enough yet.           

I grew up with Cinderella, I worshiped the fairytale, but I have finally realised how much fairytales stink. I'm not going to go into my first relationship anytime soon (I'm talking years), until some man can help brighten this sad reality. My mother tried to protect me, worried that I'll be scarred, but it's something I can't be protected from. So she's teaching me to look for someone older, someone not attractive, someone who will chase after me and not the other way around. But then she says these things have been made up already, by destiny. So for now I'm just going to be a viewer, hope my friends' relationships don't get out of hand. For now I will just look out for the loved ones around me, and spare it from myself. For the fact being, this truth from reality has really stung me. I am starting to see it. I am finally growing up. 

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