Sunday, 31 August 2014

Geminis be the death of me...

These two boys, so damn intelligent; my weakness.
 Geminis. Sagittariuses are so easily drawn to Geminis.
They shall be the death of me.

Rose bath by thefirebomb
Rose bath
by thefirebomb

Last night was one to remember. I had my second kiss from a boy (my actual second kiss was stolen by my best friend who was drunk on her 20th), the last person I would expect to get it from. Last night was a university ball and yes there was a few eye contact from drunk guys wanting to hit on me, and there was even one where I had given too long of an eye contact and he thought I was interested. He gave me his number and we danced. He wanted a kiss but I told him I wasn't that type of girl. He was disappointed but remained eager, so I gave him a kiss on his cheek, that was all I was willing to do.

But no, my second kiss, as of far, was not from this stranger, but from a friend. I guess deep down I always had slight feelings for him, but the ridiculous thing about me is I develop slight feelings for guy friends really easily. When guys open up and I get to know them, I fall for the honesty, for the realness. And it didn't help that he was such a cool guy. We danced like friends, and then we got closer and closer, and then we danced with our arms around each other. And then he suddenly kissed me on my cheek. I was alcohol induced and so was him. I kissed him back, only on the cheek because that was the furthest I would let myself go, even when drunk. But then he moved to the corner of my lips, when I placed my forehead on his for a brief moment. He couldn't really get me because most of the time I had kept my face turned to the side. 

So that was it, my second kiss from a boy (I have never 'made out' with anyone and for that I am proud). But kisses, they mean something to me. And though I can brush it off and not let it get awkward next time we see again, because I know we were both drunk and I can't really picture him being my perfect type, I can't help but feel as it was something. 

Not Letting Go by WishmasterAlchemist
by WishmasterAlchemist

Truth is, it's only going to get messier from here. I'm going on a holiday with him and my friends next February and more time together means more time for feelings to evolve. But right now I've been casually dating another guy, and I like him too. That's the problem with me, I like people too easily, but I don't let people in unless I feel as if they are the perfect type for me. And none so far do I really feel this way... With this impending holiday with kisser boy means I cannot possibly let my relationship with dating boy go anywhere until then. Not when my heart and mind is a mess and things can have big changes any moment and create hurt so easily.  

I thought my second kiss was going to come from dating boy, but life has a way of throwing surprises, and though we are not exclusive, I know for sure that if he found out I was kissed last night. He would be hurt, and maybe stop having anything to do with me in that regard. I cannot forget the night of my best friend's 20th, when we were dancing and my friend pushed me towards him but I fell instead and he caught me tightly. He told me: "I've got you." Those words, so simple yet so significant. How safe I felt in his arms, and with those words.

These two boys, so damn intelligent; my weakness. Geminis. Sagittariuses are so easily drawn to Geminis. They shall be the death of me. All I can say to myself is I'm young, so live that way, be carefree and do as I feel will make me happy, which includes not hurting anyone on the way. 

Emerald by michellis13
by michellis13

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