I'm Officially Back

Shanghai Skyline

by xMEGALOPOLISx

After being gone for 2 months, I can say I'm officially back to this blogging business. Not that it is much of a business... but it's something I've found myself being preoccupied in doing a lot now. There's so much to talk about, from me, to some other more interesting matters...

But firstly, let's return to tradition, and let me talk about me, more importantly, the change in me.

For the past 2 months I've been happily stranded in a country banning Facebook and Blogger. Of course I managed to find my way around this but life there was far more thrilling than spending every waking minute on Facebook and Blogger. I was in China (Hangzhou and Beijing) studying Mandarin Chinese with a bunch of other students from The University of Western Australia. Yep, that's where I've been stranded for the past 2 months. And though I wouldn't say China was an amazing country, as I do go back every year, this was surprisingly an amazing experience. Everything is so much more different when you do it with different people. And I feel as though I am a different person after all this.

I left, still in a relationship, and I came back single. I left, fearing being homesick, and I came back now thriving on the notion of being in unknown places. I am no longer a phobiac of planes, though it still discomforts me, I don't see it as an obstacle stopping me from doing what I love: Travelling.

I'm more independent, far more confident, and way more sure about what I want and don't want in life. My mind is cleared and I feel a lot more happier. Real, honest, happiness.

I am no longer the timid girl without a voice, I've learned to put my ideas out there, and have a stronger stance in things I believe in. I am a bit more wilder now, now that I am single. I am learning to live life freely. I've only just recently turned 19 (late November), it's a weird age I admit but it's an age I am going to make sure I make the most of. A weird age for weird times and weird wonderful experiences.

2014 is going to be the year to remember, for sure! I've never been so excited about a particular year, but there's so much anticipation of the things I know this year will bring. But no, not in the sense that the year will bring me things from nowhere, but in the sense that this is a year I know I will put in a whole lot of effort to take out a whole lot of new experiences and continue creating myself, and finding my voice and place in this world. I'm done being passive, going with the flow of the events of life, I'm going to create the events of life.

A Brand New Me

Watch me shine

by paintedpoppy

The past 2 months overseas away from everything was revitalizing. I've come back today feeling like a completely evolved person. A new aura illuminating from within. So much more confidence, so much more sure of myself... and most importantly, so much more happier. 

I put us on a 6 month break... but I've come back and I am sure I don't want this anymore. He was amazing, I don't regret a single thing about us, he taught me things and I will be forever grateful. I could never ask for a better guy to be my first.

He loves me and to me he fits all the criterion of a perfect boyfriend, but that is not enough for a relationship. There was no proper connection. He was right, I have nothing to say all the time, because I don't know what to say, it doesn't come naturally when I am around him. We are awkward around each other, and our friends notice this. We are just not meant to be. He is amazing and he will find someone who actually compliments him, who shares the same interests and humor, the same vibe. Someone who he can have proper conversations without the awkward silences. He told me once that even if we don't work out, he'd still want to be friends... and I want the same thing. I want to remain good friends too. We don't pretend like nothing has happened between us, we simply move past it.

Not ready for Love

6963

by IlonaShevchishina

Apparently Sagittarius' are independent and ambitious, put career first before love...

I put us on a break, because being in a relationship is just too much unnecessary thinking and drama involved. Too much uncontrollable emotions that lead you nowhere. I can't have this holding me back.

I put us on a break for 6 months, because he says he won't have the time for me which his busy year ahead. He isn't confident that he can handle the time needed to be spent on his position as vice president for a club, as a student in his last year of university, as a friend, as a passionate basketball player... feels like he's putting me last. Prioritising me last.

So the easiest way is to give him the time he doesn't have. Give him 6 months. He says I'm blaming him all the time... I don't even know what to say anymore... no more left to say. These 2 months studying overseas away from him has torn us apart. I have lost the feelings, I've discovered how much happier I am without him... without having to think about him 24/7, with having to miss him, to tell him to give me certain things like his time. I'm sick of it... the past 5 months have been nothing but drama...

I don't regret him being my first... but in this point in time... I don't feel as though he will be my last. I enjoy being single... so much more carefree. So much happier... I don't have to feel demanding and hate myself... I can love myself again. I don't feel loved as his girlfriend, I don't feel he cares. I don't hate him, not at all... he is a good guy. I was blessed that he was my first... he was extremely gentle with the heartbroken girl that I began as. He taught me things, he didn't put me back together, but he taught me how to put myself back together.

Above the sound of crashing

by Emily-White

In a month I will be home, and I will have to deal with this... whether the feelings for him will resurface... or am I really happier alone.

But then there is this other guy that I met on this trip overseas. He was actually a crush I had back in the last year of high school. I never formally met him but I was there when my friend was talking to him since they were friends. He was tall, so he caught my attention... and against all odds, he happens to be here on this trip and we get really really close. To the point of lying in the same bed whilst watching Breaking Bad (with my friends in the other bed next to us). I am highly rational and though I crave to hug him, to be in his arms... I restrain myself. He is tall and he gyms so he is very well built. He has a highly amazing body. But his personality... is not one I seek in a boyfriend. He isn't bad. He's kind (gives money to beggars on the streets) but he's quite timid and shy, indecisive... not attentive enough.