Smiling because Life is Good

I've always been a very shy kid ever since I was young, in primary school I normally just had one or two people I would call 'my friend'. Sometimes when they were sick or just weren't at school I would really dread lunch time and other break times because that would mean I would be alone, and I hated being alone... in front of people. I'm a weird one, I want to stand out but I feel awkward and uncomfortable under attention. I really care about how others view me, I hate eating alone, even til this day I'd rather be in the uni library doing work than eat on the lawn by myself. I am the type that would choose to eat in the toilet cubicle, if the toilet was not a toilet and was an enclosed suitable clean place to eat. 

But I have changed a lot from my primary school days, I am a little less awkward in front of strangers (people I haven't met before), there are still awkward moments when I am silent and just staring of into space when those around me talk with each other... but I'm more willing to enter into a conversation and just let myself go and talk talk talk. If there's one thing that I really go by, when I am uncomfortable and shy and awkward, is smile. Just smile when they talk, and just smile when I talk. Smiling is the answer to EVERYTHING, not an uneasy smile, or a fake smile, but a genuine happy smile to wipe away all uncertainty in myself. Because smiling makes people like you, makes people not judge you, makes people want to know you! 

Life is Beautiful II 

by *AnjaRoehrich

Plus, right now life is great, so why not smile more? Seriously, my life is awesome right now, yes, we all have our own little issues and worries, but takes those away, my life is pretty great! Learn to cherish it! Family life is great, friends life is great, school life is great, job life is great and no love life is great! But I always believe that when you're lucky, bad luck is just around the corner, but same goes with when you're unlucky, good luck is just around the corner, luck balances out. You win something, you lose something and vice versa. Life is great now and it's hard for it to be bias on you and stay great so I'm appreciating every moment of it. Small bad luck can come but I will know good luck will be on its way too. I don't know what people call this theory or if this theory even exists, its not karma... but this theory really helps people get by in life. Makes people appreciate what they have a lot more when they accept the fact that bad times will come, but also more positive when they are feeling really low, to know that this won't last forever, the good times will come very soon. 

Big examples are from famous people, like Miss World  2011, she was an orphan and life was dreadful for her, but the bright light came into her life finally when she won the title of Miss World and was given a great opportunity for a new positive life. Or Hong Kong actress Gigi Lai who was the granddaughter of Lai Man-Wai, a key figure of the first generation of Hong Kong filmmakers. Her father was deaf and when her family went bankrupt, she entered the entertainment industry at the age of 14 to earn money to support her family and her younger brother's education in England. But bad things didn't last forever because later in her life she became a very successful actress being nicknamed Hong Kong's "Goddess of Beauty" and having won Most Popular Actress Award at the 2004 TVB Anniversary Awards. She's even married to a wealthy man who loves her a lot, and she is now a mother of 2 daughters. Another example I've heard of was of a lottery jackpot winner who's partner had a serious illness that required a lot of money to treat, having such bad luck in having the illness was somewhat balanced out by winning the lotto. 

I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!

Am I lying? Well it's not the complete truth, so don't get excited. No, I have not just found my first boyfriend... But I have told someone for the first time that I have a boyfriend... who is in fact 'imaginary.' How sad... right? lol :/

Haven City Full Of Love

by ~LindaDomina

Anyway, here's the story:

I have been working as a part-time tutor, earning the good money. And I met this one guy, Middle-Eastern and in his twenties, who wants me to tutor him in economics, which is fine. So I meet up with him at my house (with my family at home) and we do a little introductory lesson, just seeing where I need to help him. The lesson finishes and that's the end of it, for 6 months (no contact from him). 

Recently, just a few days ago, he calls me. I ask him how I could help, ie. why are you calling me? He tells me he's sorry he's been away for a while and wants to catch up... something along those lines. I wonder why he's still calling me since the university he goes to has already finished exams and the beginning of the next semester is in 4 months time, he could not possibly be wanting me to tutor him 4 months in advance, despite him hinting to me how hard working he is from our first lesson. So I tell him I can't meet up because I have exams, which is true, and that I'm going on holidays straight after exams, semi-true. So the conversation ends and he tells me that we should catch up when I finish exams, before I go away for holiday. In my mind at the time: 'not going to happen'.

I've realised I am actually really naive, ignorant, innocent... however you may put it, because I really DID NOT think much of it. Until just now. A text message:

"Hello how are u? What's your plan for the weekend?" 

The weekend is a rather personal thing to ask about, we were NOT friends, I have only seen him once and talked to him (briefly) three times. Him and I being only in a tutor-student relationship meant this was very out of place and unusual. Luckily I was in the car with my older brother, who knew exactly what was going on and was the perfect advisor.   I showed him the message, laughing at it on the outside but inside I scared and confused as hell . "He obviously likes you," he tells me. That just set the panic alarms ringing. It was creepy. And so here comes the relevance of the title, my brother advised me to text him back saying that I was going to go to the movies with my boyfriend. So I did, but I attempted to sound more natural:

"I'm good, I'm planning on studying and just going to the movies with my boyfriend."

A minute later:

"Cool good luck with your study :)"

I instantly notice how he pedaled away from wherever he aimed to go with the conversation. I hope I'm not being bias because realisations could spark more realisations or simply biases and I really cannot tell the difference sometimes. But really, here he could have still told me what he wanted, e.g. "Oh, well I hope to meet up with you and talk about my economics unit and that you could help me prepare sometime this weekend. But now that I know you're busy, good luck with your study." Something like that? But no. So anyway, I text back:

"Thanks" thinking that was the end of it.

7 minutes later:

" :) "

Miss Chinese Cosmos Pageant 2012

Miss Chinese Cosmos Pageant 2012

The final round of the Miss Chinese Cosmos Pageant 2012 was held in Hong Kong on October 27, 2012, attended by 12 finalists out of which Zhang Ziqi was crowned first place while Xu Jing and Ding Xiaosen won second and third place.  

On a personal note, before I go into what the title is about, I recently found out that the guy I've had a 10 month crush on is in a relationship. Strange thing is that all of his profile pics are not visible to people other than his friends EXCEPT for this one with his new girlfriend who looks really pretty. To say I'm not jealous is a lie, but I do wish them well, like I have the first time (when I first met him and he wasn't single). Another conversation with a guy friend has opened me up to something again, a relationship needs not just attraction but also connection. I have an attraction towards this guy but we have NO connection, I haven't even had a decent conversation with him, it's just my extremely good observation of him when I was with him that led me to understand more about his character. But seriously, this is a good sign that he's got a new girlfriend, i can finally move on once and for all. 

This is what I posted in my deviantart journal to release some emotions the very moment I found out about his new gf:

My (girl) friend told me that it's a good thing too since I found it so hard to move on (seeing him for 2 days and falling for him for 10 months... yes, seriously). She has said something that felt really reassuring and nice: "it just means there is a different guy waiting for you somewhere out there :)". We both believe in destiny and this just means that he's not my destined one, I shouldn't waste time on someone who doesn't belong in my life. On another point, this really shows how emotional I can get so getting into a relationship anytime soon may be a REALLY bad idea, I don't think I can handle the emotional trauma that may come with a relationship when they get a bit rocky. 

I did in one of my posts not very long again that I hoped I would not talk about 'him' anymore as I was set on forgetting about him, and this new discovery is going to be a real driving force for me moving forward. 

Ok, back to the topic of the title... Recently Miss Chinese Cosmos Pageant 2012 was broadcasted life on Phoenix TV (Chinese TV Channel). To get my mind off 'guys', seeing beautiful (inner and outer) women with great accomplishments in their studies and other parts of their lives is really motivating. I'd love to participate in the Miss Chinese Cosmos Pageant because it's so prestigious and will be such a great accomplishment however everyone speaks Mandarin and I speak Cantonese instead (different dialect). I can understand a bit of Mandarin but I really want to be fluent in it, there's so many things that will be a lot easier if I was. But before any big pageants, the first one I intend to participate in is the Miss Chinese WA pageant held locally, which, if I won, will provide me with many opportunities to other pageants like Miss Chinese World!

Left to right: 1st, 3rd, 2nd, top 5, top 5

Zhang Ziqi from Australia Region claimed the crown, no.3.