LUST

I will express this here. Not on deviantart because even there I feel so exposed.

I feel so comfortable with you it's insane.
Can I say I love you? I love really easily but I can't say we are love yet. It has just reached a week since we both made our feelings clear. It's way too early to call what we have as 'love'.
But do I love you? Yes, in certain moments though, when you are so gentle with me, what is there not to love? When you ask if I'm alright because you're showing me all these things I've never known before. It warms my heart so much to know you can be so gentle and caring. But I'm not scared with the things you show me, it's weird. You make me feel so safe, so comfortable.

You are incredible you know? The way you love to cuddle me from behind and kiss me on the forehead. The way you call me cute all the time, the way you love my giggles as you play with my tummy and tickle me. The way you know how to take things slow so that I never freak out too much. You just know the right pace to take things, with a girl who's a flight-risk, it feels like no risk at all with you. Most of all I just love the way you make me feel safe and comfortable around you.

I wouldn't call any of these things love because it's the love of what you do for me, and that isn't love. But I'll learn to love you, your soul, your being, your everything. I'll learn to love you in no time at all. What I'm starting to love first is how gentle you can be with people, how you love animals and children. You have a kind caring heart. Sure you have your impatience and rudeness at times, but flaws make us human and I will learn to love you flaws and all.

When I'm in your arms I stare at you, blurring eyed with a smile and often you would ask me 'what' and I would ask you 'why can't I just look at you with a smile'. With that question I think you found your answer and you no longer question why I look at you like that. It's the look of I-can't-believe-I'm-in-your-arms and I-can't-believe-you're-here. It's the look of I-want-to-make-sure-this-is-real. That's why I stroke your face, because I want to make sure it's real. That you're real.

Big Cities, Big Dreams

Perth, the underrated city of talent...

Pumping Blood
by applesttar

Adelaide Kane, main actress in hit TV series 'Reign' is from Australia. That I knew. And that I talked about in my previous post. But. Adelaide Kane, a famous actress who starred in hit movies such as thriller 'The Purge', is a Perthian. A girl who was born and raised in Perth, Western Australia, before moving to Melbourne to cast in Soap Opera: Neighbours, and then eventually moved to where she is now, LA. The city of Angels.

This isn't the only famous celebrity who's surprisingly a Perthian. Heath Ledger, one of Hollywood's biggest names, was born in Perth. Gemma Ward, renowned model was also born in Perth. And finally, and not exhausting the list, Hugh Jackman was once a Perthian too. Not born in Perth but his performance journey began in Perth, back in 1994.

It simply is amazing, if not inspiring, how such a small city, that has been so underrated as of late, has produced some of the greatest names. For that, I am proud to be a Perthian. And it proves that it's not only in big cities, where big dreams can come true. They can begin in a small city just like Perth, a city that didn't have Zara or Topshop until a few months ago. A small city that is only getting their first Krispy Kreme shop later this month. A small city that has not been touched by too much of outside influence. 

You never loved me

I gave my heart away to someone who wouldn't even jump over
 a puddle for me when I would swim across the ocean for

a gloomy day

by CasheeFoo

I've finally come to realise that when I decided to give you a chance by letting you into my life, I fell for the hope you gave me, the hope that you could fix me by loving me. That by showering me with love, the broken pieces of my heart would be mended back together. 

And I guess that wasn't fair on you and our relationship was bound to fail from the beginning. I thought you could teach me how to love. And in a torturous way, you did. My heart was numb from the previous immense impact. You got rid of the anesthetic and broke my heart down further, slowly but unintentionally. 

Now aware of how broken I truly am from the pain you let me feel, I could now begin fixing myself... by myself. I am in gratitude to you for giving me hope, hope that helped me face my fear, but it was only hope you gave me. Not love. You never truly loved me. Not the way I loved you.

Now 9 months since we've parted ways, I still think of us sometimes. And from time to time, I notice more and more things that I didn't when I was blinded by how much I wanted to show my love to you. Your love was calculated, you never gave freely. That's why it always felt so uncomfortable and I could never just talk to you. 

All you ever gave me was hope, from the kind sweet words you spoke. The considerate words showing understanding felt good to hear. And it helped ease the pain of my already-broken heart. But you fell short, because all they ever were... were words. You never did all the things you said you would. You said that if I ever needed you, you would drive to my home. That time I cried in public, at a restaurant, because of you... that was one of the times I really needed you to drive to me, to have me in your arms. I never cry in public, I don't even remember the last time I did. Heck I don't even usually show I'm sad to friends, not less cry in front of one. But you never showed up, your excuse was that you didn't think I wanted to see you, I cried over the phone telling you to come at once... my heart breaks now just from the memory... how could you have been so stupid... Maybe you weren't stupid, you calculated it perfectly. Time with your friends at that buffet outweighed having me crying in your arms, oh! and also the petrol, you saved on petrol too.